Overwhelmed

I find myself repeatedly responding to the question “so what did you think?” with the slow pensive response; “It’s overwhelming.” I said it after the elders meeting regarding the needs of the community. I said it and felt it on the drive back from our day at the Apartheid Museum. I say it and mean it after every time we drive out of the township.

It’s not that I’m feeling undone, but rather feel that very, VERY urgent need for the Lord to show up and be present or else… or else we will be undone! It was relieving to hear Pastor Philip say, “God must do it. It’s his work and we are just tools. He said it, so He must do it.” While I know this is true I am still tempted to allow disappointment to engulf me.

As we zoom in on our daily activities, like teaching computer classes or re-igniting the churches Food Pantry and kicking off the Gardening Project, I can’t help but look around and see the big picture and realize our best efforts are but a drop in a bucket of need that contains the ocean. I would like to convince myself that helping one person is enough… but I feel that would be a cop out of what I feel compelled to scream out, HELP! We need more people to come and do and love and share and give and partake. Yes, we have an amazing group of people supporting us and with us but we need more to join in. As a mobilizer I have visions of myself as William Wallace in Braveheart, waving the flag for the Scottish Nobles to join in at the battle of Falkirk but none of them are joining in. Yet I must fight these overwhelming feelings … and so like Pastor Tom Stark prayed over us when we were leaving the U.S., “Lord, they cannot solve all of Africa’s problems… but neither can they give in to despair...” and so we continue.

Lord, we need you to show up and bring some folks with.